Failure vs success

What does it mean to fail? I had an accident during a freedive around two weeks ago. I perforated my eardrum. Today, I am the winner of Nirvana Ocean Guest, international freediving competition.

Any good athlete works hard and sacrifice a lot of things in life in order to reach goals. But path to our goals is not easy. It is a mix of being up and being down. And when we are down we have to get up. Only failure is to give up. I perforated my eardrum very first day of Caribbean Cup and i had to take strong medication for nearly 13days. Any training was impossible and i was about going to buy a ticket back to Europe. I was devastated about my injury. I was one of the favourites to win. I prepared for months and now it is over, I thought. But after few days,I thought about it like about the part of the sport that i chosed to do and did not let it makes me upset. I decided to stay in Roatan. I tried to rest for next competition which was just about to start in Colombia. I had 10days to recover. I felt that I need more competition experiences. Competition stress was still affecting me in the negative way. I knew, I can’t allow that to happen.

There very many things I had to deal with, during Nirvana competition. I had to change the way I breath up for my deep dive. I had to turn from horizontal to vertical position due to an inflamation in my ear. I had to learn how to make my warm up shorter. Competition line was more stretchy than what i am used to, so to do FIM discipline was a bit scary for me as the time of the dive was getting too long. Strong current surprised us during second half of the competition.

 However, I have to say that conditions were really nice. We managed to move platform, so there was no current for next days. Water so calm and warm and dives were pleasant. Organizators, judges and safety team did everything what they could do to make athletes feel comfortable. 

In my opinion, a strong diver can be considered the one who is diving to greath depths. But strong competitor is the one who is able to perform and dive deep under any conditions.

This was my chance to learn how to be one. I went to these competitions to learn how to dive under conditions which I am not used to. In every negative situation is something possitive as well. I won Nirvana Ocean Guest competition but what makes me feel really happy is the fact that i pulled myself together and that I can dive gain. In any situation, there is always something what can be improved, even if that is not our main goal. Perhaps, to find that something, is success. I found out that even i did not make other record, I still improved like a competitor. 


I have to admit that i felt very tired during each dive even  the dive itself was easy. I would never again do three big competitions without big break between them. To mantain the high level of concentration needed for a deep dives and performances for three months was a bit too much for me. I decided to turn early during my last national record attempt in CWT discipline. I feel very good about that decision. I felt tired from the deep dive I did the day before and decided to turn early. The 90m deep dive is still a big dive for a woman and I did not wanted to do it unless feeling strong. It was my last deep dive for a while and i wanted to have nice memories about it, rather than other accident.



I would never reached what I have now if I would try to do everything by my own. I have met amazing people who has been very supportive and I have to tell them one big Thank you. First part of the competition season 2015 is over for me. I competed in three interntional freediving competitions in row. Suunto Vertical Blue in Bahamas, Caribbean Cup in Roatan,Honduras and Nirvana Ocean Guest in San Andreas,Colombia. I am taking couple of days off, to discover Colombia. I need a rest because I will start to train again in 2 weeks!

2 Comments on “Failure vs success

  1. Beautiful, You will be always welcome to Colombia…I hope to one day meet you..


  2. Where we learn the most from?
    The fear of something daring to let go, really let loose.
    So I worked with disabled people. There was a girl with Down syndrome.
    Everything went wrong, everyone was pulling her. pressure around her.
    And even you will go in there.
    She began to lose her controll.
    Then I said, let go. And everyone let her go.
    Then she came up to me.
    And we achieved what we wanted.
    She went along.
    Due to the large pressure and want to control it.
    Things go wrong.
    By letting go, we get where we want to be and learn from it.
    Then you could almost go back to the principle of Static.
    Let go of body and mind.

    I read you message and felt I had to respond. Nice blog.


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